An "A- HA" moment!

Yesterday while in the shower (where I do much of my deep thinking!!!) I had an " A HA " moment. As I have grown older I have always thought that mum always sent me off to my dads mum (my Nanna) for the holidays because she didnt really want me around during the holidays. She would always say... "Kimma you just dont know how much longer you have with you Nanna!" Of course this would get me in and I would go. As an adult I have resented that Mum didnt want me to stay with her. I have never talked about it with mum and probably never will. The moment came when I felt saddened that Mum's grandchildren really dont want to spend time with her, my children included. It suddenly occured to me that Mum may have not wanted me there so she wouldnt have to worry about me so she could go out clubbing and drinking but in fact she deepened and cemented my relationship with my Nanna. I dont know why it is right now that I have this A HA moment, but life is a journey!!! All I know is that I loved my Nanna and if I could turn back time I would have spent so much more time with her. Its sad that its when you become an adult, mum and then more mature that you realise the importance of the little things.

Now I try to spend time with mum, even tho she drives me nuts some times but I know that one day... I will treasure the small moments we have had together.

Im so thankful that she has come up to Qld. It is like a 2nd chance to get to know each other again. Except this time we are on an equal footing. Having said that, its taken me a few months to work things out about the new "us" relationship. I have also had to put some boundaries up and not feel like I have to jump because Mum says. For example, ringing early in the morning especially when Im going to uni and getting Reuben ready for school. Well its going really smoothly at the moment. We have dinner together at her place every friday night, which is very enjoyable. She has quit smoking and drinking. This is awesome!!! She is a different person, an enjoyable person to be around when she isnt drinking.

This is a moment that I will scrapbook!!! Eventually!