80s music takes me back!

Gosh how music can take you back 20 years!!! So much has happened since then. No wonder mum always said "Dont be in a hurry to grow up!" Thats all I wanted to do... was to grow up and experience life. If only I could see what was ahead... I would have stayed 16 forever. The biggest worry was tests in high school and what you were going to wear out on saturday night. I would love to go back and relive those teenage years but know what I know now. Another thing mum always said was you cant put an old head on young shoulders. I sure understand that now.

Words dont come easy to me... Fergal Sharkey. I loved that song when I was 15... and I still love it now. However, the difference now is that I really understand the lyrics more. Why are we so intelligent yet we find it so difficult to tell others how we really feel. Why do we build such high and dense walls around us? Why is it that once we are hurt by someone we build another layer onto our wall?

50 years... Uncanny Xmen. What a song hey!!! Where will we be in 50 years? Gosh I couldnt see where I would be 20 years ago. I will be 87!!!! wow thats getting old hey!!! I hope that by then I have found my soul mate. The man that is just for me. He must be out there somewhere! A friend of mine just recently told me that she is afraid of being alone forever. There are times/days I feel that way too. There are many times that I love being on my own and its that facade that I put up... down deep inside I would love to have a partner in life to share my/our life/lives. I wonder if, when it will come? I just dont trust myself with the choosing of guys... so one of my new rules is that he must pass the test of my friends interviews. If they say go for it... then I might consider him. My problem is that I have nothing to go by. My dad died when was 14. Mum hasnt had any guy that has been a good role model for me. Looking back, I have always been afraid that no one would want me so perhaps I just grabbed anything that was offered instead of making an intelligent choice. Hmmm... it really makes me think about my life. It makes me think of how much of an influence confidence in yourself plays such an important role in life choices. When you feel good about yourself, you know what you deserve and what you dont. You know where you want to go and what you want to do. Why has it taken me this long to figure it out!!!! I feel like I have been emotionally disable. It helps me realise why I have made such huge mistakes in my life.

Now I realise this... I hope that I make the right choices in future... which I already am in ways. For example, I am going to uni. When I was in year 11, one reason I dropped out was that I was so fearful of letting my mum down if I failed... well what a let down that was with dropping out!!!! Thanks to Katrina and working at the school, has helped me gain so much confidence. The teachers and principal Kathy Roman, they all helped me grow in so many ways. How do you thank them? How can you? Helping someone find confidence, personal growth, develop self esteem... its what I want to give back to my students one day. I want to help them see what they can be, what potential they have.

That is one thing I learnt last year at uni. I already knew that each child has potential... but that it is life long. That the seeds you sow now... will / should come to sprout and grow, even if it is many many years later.