Sensational Sunday

What a great day! Brekky with Krystyl, I made pikelets, Krystyl brought icecream, my cream and some cinnamon. Krystyl just raved about the pikelets and seemed to really loved the time!

Then she washed my car and her car. At midday we went to Gail's for lunch with the group for Christmas in July. Yummo.

It was a wonderfully relaxing day! Yesterday afternoon was so different with Steve's shaningans with Krystyl. I cant (I really can!) believe he did what he did... smashing Krystyl's desk, kicking her car door and hurting her physically. Thank god Krystyl rang the police and thank god they came! I think someone from the units had rung them also, 2 police cars and 4 police officers arrived. Of course, steve lied... saying that he tripped down the stairs and it broke. OMG!!! Krystyl has taken a DVO out on him. Of course he was so nice when the police were there however, they told him to calm down. They took him to watch house after we left so they could do the paper work. He brought Krystyl's dvd player over today and hardly said a word. I hope he has a reality check and gets some help for his aggression and anger. Reuben was there also when all this was happening and was scared. He was holding onto Krystyl. It was actually Steve's weekend with Reuben but Reuben came home with me. Im not sure if Reuben will be going back. He just doesnt feel safe there and to tell you the truth, I dont feel that its that safe for him too.

This has reinforced my decision for Reuben to be with me here. I know I have made the right decision.

Big Brother Update: Max and David have been evicted. Camilla and Jamie are left... Monday it is all over red rover!

bye for now!

Love this photo and Layout

I just saw this photo/layout on 2peas website. I love it. I have put it in my blog so it reminds me to do a photo of Reuben and Krystyl like this.

This is the site addy if you want to read the journalling: http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/pg.asp?gallery=1&cmd=display&layout_id=938340 

My cold update

Finally, my cold/ asthma has lifted. I still have a slight cough but nothing like it was. I am thankful that I didnt get bronchitis or anything worse. Thank goodness for ventolin and steroids!!!!

I actually felt like dancing this morning... so I did. Reuben was not impressed... I guess mums are not meant to dance... yeah right!

I have a science tute today at 1pm. Im looking forward to it as Lisa Slender is our tutor. Like I have said previously, I like her style.

Now, what have I done instead of reading this morning? Well, I have downloaded some songs of Kasey Chambers! Talked to Janet on the phone, put some washing on and put it in the dryer. Its raining today so what a great excuse to use the dryer! I love to see the rain. The house is dark and Reuben didnt believe that it was 7am when I went into wake him up. He said, "its too dark to be 7!"

I am finding it so hard to get out of bed most mornings. I just want to lay there and enjoy the peace and quiet. I hate rushing around in the mornings... I just hate it! I especially hate the 8am starts at uni. It really is silly tho... I used to at the school at 8am to start work at 8.15am. It really is a head set! So much of our lives is about how we view things. For work... we get going to earn money... to uni... not earning money, dont want to start early!!! Yep a definate head set!

Ok... now Im off to do some reading for science today.

Catch ya...

Kasey Chambers !!!

Love this Woman! I think she would be one of Australia's best singers of all time! Her style and sound is so original! I wonder how many times when she was starting out did she get poo hooed about her singing style? If she did... Im glad she didnt listen to them! She is an awesome singer/songwriter!

Her new song: Nothing at all is another masterpiece! I love it. Kasey Chambers you rock girl!

I was saddened to hear that her relationship with her partner ended last year or was in in 2004? Anyway, it is still sad when things end. I hope they can work out a friendship so their son can enjoy life with both mum and dad. Relationships are so hard in an everyday persons life... I cant begin to imagine how difficult it would be with the commitments of life on the road.

Thanks Kasey for another great song and album! 

Another Great Day

Yes it was! Had a Sose tute with Lisa Slender. She is a great tutor! Then went and bought the HPE text book pack. It has a pedometre so put that on. Im not sure how accurate it is but really, who cares! Then after we had something to eat we (Megan, Janet and I) drove over in Janet's car to Mt Gravatt to attend our HPE classes. It was really good. Im glad I had someone to go with tho because it is a huge campus and well I wouldnt have known where to go! My gosh it is hilly tho, it just about killed me with my asthma getting up the hill! The first hour we did some theory with the tutor Maria. Then we went down to the Practical part and did some running around. The tutor was great at teaching us. He is very easy going and made the whole time fun.
The class finished at 4pm so by the time I actually got home it was 4.30pm. The Autism Qld bus was waiting for me with Reuben in the bus. I really wasnt sure what was going on. Apparently, there had been some trouble so they stayed with him. I am hoping that tomorrow I will find out more.

Tonight I watched:

I am Earl. I love that show!

Medium.

24. I forgot to watch it last night!!! damn it!!

Dinner:

Krystyl came over for dinner. We had my special - sausage tomato and onion with rice! We all love this dish.

Thats it for tonight!

 

Thursday at Uni

Today is going to very interesting. Janet, Megan and I are all in the same classes... thank god!!! First we have SOSE with Lisa Slender (Yay!!!) at 11am. Then we have an hour to get to Mt Gravatt for HPE. Oh the joy! We are car pooling so that will be really good! There has been a rumour that we will need to be swimming but thankfully there is no mention of it in the course outline.

Reuben has his key to let himself in this afternoon as I wont be getting home until after 4.30pm. Im sure Reuben will enjoy the time by himself.

Yesterday, I went to Eagleby South State School, to drop a book back to their library. I also told Sue that I am available for work on Wednesdays. Deb who is the registrar asked me if I was interested in working with indigenous kids. She took me down to see Liz Young straight away. Liz seemed very excited. I guess going to uni is a plus as Im almost a teacher.

I emailed Judith about where I can get some info about teaching indigenous children. She emailed me back with some readings to read and to let her know so I can talk to Julie Bliss who runs Reading Recovery and tutors at uni.

Ok well now Im off for my shower. Its going to be another great day.

Krystyl at Port Macquarie

July 2006- on holiday with Lee. They stopped in at Port Macquarie to stay at a resort that Lee's mum had a voucher for. This was taken at the beach near where mum lived with Kevin. I love how Lee was able to the shot of the wave breaking and the shadow on Krystyl's face. I love the colour matching in Krystyl's shirt with the sea. I love to see Krystyl in pink! Notice her white sunnies... the in thing! Krystyl is 19! I cant believe how the years have flown! So much has happened and still I wish I could go back and spend so much more time with her and change so many mistakes I made with her and in my life! All in all, she is developing into a lovely young lady. She doesnt go out drinking, smoking and sleeping around. She has 2 jobs, has studied business at Tafe, wants to study to become a Personal Trainer, wants to own a house and a new car. She knows where she is going. So much more than I did when I was 19. I had Krystyl when I was 19. I had no plans! I am so proud of her!!!

Super Saturday!

Update: Reuben didnt stay at Steve's very long... really just the weekend. Its too long of a story but lets just say it wasnt working and I realised how much I really do want to be looking after Reuben. Reuben is happy to be home.

Art Class: Reuben started an art class today. The lady (teacher) seems very lovely and caring. The good thing is that she understands Aspergers Syndrome, she was a nurse... so that is another great thing.

Parent meeting: Yesterday I went to a parent meeting for parents with ASD children at Reuben's High School. It was really good. I really didnt learn anything new but just to listen to other parent's struggles really helped me. I realised that Reuben is doing pretty darn good! Some parents said if they get their teen to shower every 3 days they are doing well... well Reuben has a shower twice a day! Pats on the back for me!!!

Scrapbooking: Allison and I going to a scrapbook shop near Mount Tamborine after Reuben's art class. They are having a sale. Hope I grab a bargain!!!

Uni: I am so not looking forward to this semester. I guess I will just have to take one day at time, one class at time, and one assessment at a time. At least Im in many of Megan's classes.

Dinner: Thursday night Allison came over for dinner. I made apricot chicken in my crock pot. Krystyl came over too and Reuben wanted to stay instead of going to his dad's place. So I had a full table for dinner. It was really good. Allison brought apple danish... yummo... she even brought a lactose free cream for me and a custard for her and reuben. She really is a lovely young lady. I am going to endeavour to have company at least once a fortnight for dinner... then hopefully once a week.

Anyway, thats the update for now. I cant believe that we are in last throws of July already! Only 13 weeks to go until the end of semester! The shine has definately worn off uni!!!

Bye

Super Sunday - kind of...

Today Krystyl came over and then we drove over to see Mum. She was really glad to see Krystyl. We took her the shops and had her home made curry chicken pies when we got home. I LOVE those pies. I had two but wanted more but my belly just couldnt!

I had a try on her new oldies scooter that she has bought herself. Only $2500 but well worth it if it means she can get out and about.

Krysty is moving in with Lee. However, Lee's brother is selling his house so they will be moving into a house they will be both renting. It is great timing for steve and reuben.

Reuben and steve came over about 5 mins ago. Reuben just wanted to copy some family guy shows onto a cd. He was quite rude... and why is he now living with steve? Perhaps this will be ok. I did get a panic attach when I was getting his school bag and things together for steve (and reuben). Its a feeling in the middle of my chest that makes my head spin and makes me feel like Im going to implode. Its a horrible feeling. He didnt want to kiss me goodbye so I didnt make him.

When Krystyl came over she said that Wilma (steves mum) thinks its a bad idea that reuben live with steve. Im not sure why. I said that to steve and he said that Krystyl should learn to keep her mouth closed... gosh I hope I havent upset things.

Anyway... you wont believe this... I bought myself a cobweb broom today. I have actually got them down from my verandar!!! Yay... they were beginning to get me down!!! Now to do the rest of the house.

This afternoon, Im going over to Katrina's to help her unpack her boxes into her new cupboards. They are just beautiful cupboards. Lots of display space and lots of cupboard space. Once she gets them organised I will take a photo of them.

Now Im off for a power nap before I go.

bye for now 

Another WANT for my wish list!

STAMPS: I just saw these on the 2 peas website and absolutely love them... I love flowers but these are just gorgeous!!! Give me Give me Give me!!!!

Tonight... I went to Trina's for dinner and our other friend Gail popped over. We ended up having pizza and a glass of wine... YUMMO. I will pay for it tomorrow as I didnt take my lacteze tablets with me... Oh well, I only had two small pieces. I had forgetten how much I love spending time with Katrina and how easy going she is and how much alike we are.

Note to Self: Spend more time with Katrina during the semester!!! 

Its hard to cut the apron strings!

Today and yesterday have been difficult and overwhelmingly emotional rollercoasters. Yesterday, after months of deliberation, came to the final decision that Reuben needs to live with his dad. Well that was fine until the crunch... I just lost it. Sobbed like no one has sobbed before! I couldnt go through with it. I couldnt just let him go.

My friend Katrina came over last night and stayed until midnight talking with me. Showing me the great things that "might" come of this change for Reuben and I and Steve. Eventually, 1. Reuben and I will be able to have a positive relationship, like Krystyl and I do now. 2. This might help Steve turn around as a father and step up to the plate and wear the responsibility. So far so good, he is happy to have Reuben, he is even going to give him his bedroom. 3. Reuben will learn that he cant go on treating women badly. 4. I can start to find me again. I started this when I left steve, but have fallen backwards since Reuben has become difficult. There are many many reasons that will benefit us with this change but all I have been able to see is negatives. How easily, the negatives can creep in.

I found this poem today, it really means so many things...

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t mean security
you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
accepting your defeats with your head up
and your eyes open
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child
and you learn to build all of your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
after awhile you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
and you learn
that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and that you really do have worth
- anonymous

I have printed it out and will laminate it to sit near my kitchen, maybe on the fridge.

I need to remember the 3 last things, I can endure... I am strong and I do have worth!

I love my boy and Im not really letting him go. Its just that he is sleeping in another bed in a house not too far away.

Anyway, thats me for now. Its been another emotional day and Im just worn out.

Bye...

I have a cold!

Oh Damn... I hate colds and flus and sickness. I did 2 hours work at the local school on monday. A boy who was sick, coughed on me... instantly I thought "Oh great!" By Thursday 1am I was feeling the effects of it. Thank god its not the flu! Thank god for panadol and asprin and cups of tea!

Another card!

I really like the colours on this tag. I did it yesterday.

Movies today:

Today Reuben and I went to see the new Pirates in Caribean. I liked it but the ending... well there wasnt one! We have to wait til the 3rd one now. It was really slow to start with but it got going and was great (I think the first one was better tho!).

Reuben: Is it time he lives with his dad? Hmmmm! Not sure. He says he would like to live with him but Im just not sure how it would go. Right now it is just ok but I know soon it wont be with Reuben and I. I know he will lose it again and go off. I honestly dont know how much more verbal abuse I can live with. Anyway, time will tell.

Uni: I cant believe how sick of uni I am. I could easily not go back. I wish I didnt have to. I wish I had studied earlier so I wouldn't have to do it now. I just have to remember that its only 13 weeks. Its not that long really. I can get through it... I can do it!!! I will do it!!! 

Up Early at 2am... AGAIN!!!

So here I sit... School goes back this week. Yay! The term starts all over again. I really needed this holiday after last semester at uni. Prac really took it out of me as did the disorganised courses and assignments. Needless to say, for the first time since I started studying, Im not looking forward to going back. I know I have to keep going, quitting is not an option. It is so nice just being at home and not thinking about essays and readings!

I dont know why Im not sleeping. Yes I do... the stress of Reubs, not knowing how much longer I can have him here. He is 14 in september and getting so big and strong. I'm very tired of being treated like his personal doormat. Did I allow this to happen? I have to go and find out today about getting some respite but it depends on funding! Everything depends on funding!!!

Yesterday, I went to see Kathy. She is such a lovely woman. Her son died about 4 weeks ago... I cant believe how that time has flown. She is handling it so well. She says, that her son wouldnt want them to be standing still, he would have wanted them to keep living and moving forward. She showed me her pages she has started in the last few days. Introducing her to scrapbooking was the one of the best things I could have done. It has helped her through so many other stress related issues, e.g. work.

After visiting Kathy, Reuben and I went to Allison's for lunch. I cant believe we actually got there. Reuben was mucking around, not getting ready. I had to threaten that the computer (laptop) is a priveledge and I would take it away if he didnt get moving. Can't get him into the shower... then I can't get him out of it! Im sure its a boy thing!!! Maybe a teenager thing, Katrina can get her daughter (16) into the shower but she takes forever too.

Lunch with Allison was great. It was only Reuben and I there for lunch but boy she went all out to make it look fabulous for our sandwiches. I am just not an entertainer... but hey instead of beating myself up about it... Im going to embrace it. I dont have to be an entertainer and perhaps once uni is over and I have more money when Im working as a teacher, I can learn to entertain.

Made this today

Saturday - Today has been a relaxing day. Reuben has been happy and quiet. We played cluedo and hangman together at Reuben's request. He's hardly been on the laptop today at all. After the games I made this card.

Its a 2peas font: Ocean cross. I printed the letters out and then cut them out... next time I think I will just print them onto the card stock. I do like the layering look tho, altho you cant see it on the card.

I cant believe another day has come and gone.  

Up Too Early

Well here I am, 2.24am! I hate waking early. You try to lay there. The eyes are willing as they are closed but the brain... oh no... the brain is ticking over. I have had a cuppa tea and a couple of arrowroot bickies and checked my email. Nothing much happening right now... Gypsy is in my bed, fast asleep. Reuben is in his bed with the fan on but fast asleep. Anton... well he went out last night and didnt come home... he is such a cat... just doing whatever he pleases... or is that male thing?

Nine msn... has a picture of a petrol bowser with a caption "Missiles hit oil prices"! OMG I hope petrol doesnt go up too high or I wont be able to afford to drive anywhere.

I went to Katrina's last night after I dropped Reuben off. We had a cuppa tea. She was expecting Billy to come over and see her new car, an Elantra. He finally came and brought his new baby, Bailey. A little male staffy. So cute and he still had puppy breath.

Steve rang while I was there and asked me what was happening with Reuben and the money from the game he returned. Wow, maybe there is hope that he will become a decent person and a caring parent.

Anyway, thats all for now.

Todays Layout

2002 - Love that smile. Its very basic but Im happy with how it turned out. I even used my own handwriting. I couldnt believe how long it took me to get this Layout going. Finding embellishments for boys is hard. The small black letters I found at kmart (rubons). The "smile" word is done with MM paints and stencil stamps.

I do love that smile! 

Just found this Layout

I want to go back and case this Layout one day soon.

Its a great photo and I love the journaling.

http://www.scrapjazz.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=141029

Maroons Won State of Origin!!!

Oh Wow, I cant believe how close it came. I actually thought that Qld was going to lose but they came back. The commentators said to watch the Queenslanders because they had done it before and they did it!!! Go Queenslanders!!!! Go you good things!!!! The look on their faces was wonderful. They hadn't won for four years! Its been a long L O N G time!

 

Anton in July

This is a photo of Anton today in the back yard. I took about 16 photos but loved this one the most. I love the how the sunlight really warms the photo. 

What was I thinking???

OMG!!! Yes... what was I thinking! Getting Reuben another Rat... gosh what a mistake. However, Reuben loved him and the rat, Whiskers, loved him. He would just sit for hours on Reubens shoulder. He was a lovely rat really but just smelly!!! Very smelly. While he was little not so much but then we got another rat for him to have a friend rat and keep him company when we are not home and thats when the smell increased. Sadly, Whiskers died a few months back when he got out of his cage at Reuben's dad's house and a cat got him. Needless to say, Reuben was devastated! Rest in peace Whiskars! 

Big Brother Ousting

OMG!!! Massive problem in the house. Jon and Ash went against BB rules and now they are out. Camilla is upset, the whole house is upset. Im glad Big Brother said "No More!" and so he should have. Its great to see how people behave but I think Big Brother contestants take it way too far and Big Brother allows them to get away with it. I didnt watch it last year as a protest for the previous year's garbage that went on. Its just not right, nor is it real but I guess if it makes money I guess the channel executives dont care so much! 

Sleeping Angel

This is my daughter when she was 3. We were living in Grafton in a little 2 bedroom flat. I loved this time of my life. However, there were times with this little girl that I thought we wouldnt get through it. Krystyl was a very strong willed child but knowing her now... she has needed the will to get through. We have had some hard times but she is 19 now and emerging into a beautiful woman! She will always be my little girl though!

 

Another Wish for My List!

Oh Boy, what a wish. I would love to on this Scrap Cruise! Maybe one day when Im a teacher I can do it. Looking to the future! However, after that lady died on the cruise ship and what has been exposed... caution is a word to remember!
See the cruise info here:
http://www.scrapbooksandmore.com.au/store/home.php?cat=2036

Printing Creatively

I just found this at www.scrapjazz.com

http://www.scrapjazz.com/topics/Computer_Center/Printing/305.php

Its got some really good ideas about using your printer on different surfaces. Its a good read.