Saturday, April 15, 2006

Its a Juggling Act!!!

Well this is me right now. Juggling Reuben, uni, friends, and mum. It is a hard task. Some days I feel like walking away... well no.. actually I feel like running... bolting away!!!!

Somedays it gets all too hard. Somedays I just cant understand why some people get it so easy and others get lumped with all the crap.

Why are there so many people with out? Im sitting here feeling very sorry for myself... yet Im so lucky!!! guilt guilt guilt!!!!

Ive got a roof over my head... at least its not a cardboard box roof!!! I have quality food in my cupboard and fridge... at least my supermarket isnt the local tip!!!! My kids are difficult... but at least they are not on the streets begging or selling themselves!!!!
Really I have a lot to be thankful for! Why then do I feel like crap!!! Why do I feel like Ive been cheated in life? Why has my mum started drinking again? Why is my ex such a pathetic excuse for a human being? Why dont I have an endless source of money that I could bless my friends and family with???
So many whys and yet so little answers!!!

On the other hand...

I could ask these questions... why do I have such a great friend like Katrina? Why has Megan and her family come into my life? Why do I get caught up in guilt? Its such an unproductive emotion!!!

Now I must go and get into my uni stuff and do some more juggling... 5 assessment pieces in 2 weeks!!!
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